1) Specific offers to help families

We have found that
· families are often left alone with their problems
· Putting the children or young people into care is often seen as the only solution for serious family problems
· In spite of all the existing problems the separation from the parents is a terrible decisive point for the children
  who often feel they are being punished.
· Young people in care often become socially isolated
· New educators or foster parents are not automatically better, even the highest qualified educator
  cannot replace the natural parents
· In many cases the foster parents or educators are not able to or do not want to build a personal relationship, even if they try.
· Being put into care is not automatically a protection against violence and abuse, in many cases it is the
  beginning of an ordeal which lasts for years
· The bond with the natural parents often gets lost, partially because of the spatial separation,
  partially because of the prevention of intense contacts.

That is why in our opinion the need for stable personal relationships, for love and security are usually best satisfied by the own family.In case the family is not able to satisfy these needs, everything possible to improve the situation within the family should be done. The younger the children, the more important this is.

This process should include:
informing all family members about possible problems
ascertating the exact needs of each family member and the degree of satisfaction of these needs
analysis of the problem and setting up of new family goals together
specific help within the family:
parental education
domestic help
financial aid, debtor advice
support with flat-hunting (in case of a problematic living situation)
educational aid
social workers giving educational aid
therapeutic help (either all family members or individual therapy)

Goals:
· All family members should work together on the problems which originated within the family.
· The children's needs should be satisfied as far as possible without tearing them away from the background and home they know.
· Bbonds with parents and friends should not be destroyed.
· The child should not be punished for mistakes of the adults tearing them away from home.

2) Being put into care

We have found that
· young people were not informed well enough about reasons for and goals of being put into care;
· young people were not asked their opinion nor wishes regarding where or how they wanted to live their life;
· young people are not being put into care without urgent reasons (loss of both parents and no relatives existing, parents' absolute refusal to care for their children, child's absolute refusal to stay with his/her parents, immediate danger of violence or abuse);
· the adults' ideas regarding the quality standards do not always correspond with the needs of the young people;
· young people are simply left with some "new adults" which they should obey, trust and who they should love, as if old parents were bad parents and new parents were good parents;
· young people are taken from their social environment all of a sudden and thus lose all friends.

This is why we feel that
· such a important decision regarding the life of a young person has to be considered thoroughly.
· The decision must not be made without the one concerned.
· In this situation the young people have to be accompanied and helped intently.
· The natural parents have to be included in this process. This way,
· the foundations for an improvement in the parent-child-relationship can be layed.
· The distance between old and new "home" should be as small as possible so that existing friendships
  in school an neighbourhood can be kept up.

3) Being in care

"Even if you like your new parents/educators and feel good there - it will never be the same as having your own natural parents all for yourself. Each decision for the "new ones" at the same time means a painful parting from the "old ones" and it tears you apart."
"We have not decided for this way of life ourselves, so please do not treat us with disrespect and ignorance, but treat us as you treat everybody else."
"We do not want your sympathy but just a normal acceptance of our strong and weak points."

For us it would be important that
· young people are allowed to get to know their educators and foster parents before they move in with them,
· there is a phase which allows them to settle in,
· a free decision is possible,
· the young people are being treated with respect so that they do not lose their self-respect,
· the persons to whom the young people relate most closely are lasting (and can be reached at least in case of emergency)
· the educators are not only professionally trained, but also willing to build a real and lasting relationship
· in case of an emerging problem the young people are not brought into another institution, but the educator(s)
  have to work on this problem with the child / young person (if necessary with therapeutic assistance),
· educators have to respect the privacy of the ones they educate,
· there are regular talks of the young people with somebody external where they can express their wishes
  and discuss possible problems,
· educational and career orientated achievements are supported,
· short- and long-term goals of the individual and all who live in the same flat/family/...are considered,
· All steps are taken to support the social integration.